Honestly now...I truly hate my id. If there was medication specifically targeting & inhibiting one's id, I'd be an addict. One resolution for this year that I'm willing to share: the attempt to balance my id, ego, & superego. If one is confused about the terminology just given, here's some general insight. In psychology, Sigmund Freud categorized the human personality into 3 forms: the id, ego, & superego.
The id is one's raw instinct. Their negative side. Their darker side that craves satisfaction of all forms & exhibit jealousy, anger, pride, selfishness, revenge, etc. The ego is one's perfectionist side. The side that seeks 100% & positivity. It is the exact opposite of the id & tells one to be moral. Thus, it feels guilt the most when perfection & morality are not successful. The superego is the mediator between the id & ego. It is the one that uses common sense & enforces which between the two is more practical during a certain event & is more in contact with the external environment. Think of the old school cartoons: one's conscience with the little angel on one shoulder (ego), the little devil on the other (id), & the person in the middle (superego).
Back to me now. In general, my personality normally exhibits the id, ego, and superego equally. However, it's obvious that when problems & issues arrise, I tend to be id-dominant. My instincts take over. I want those who mess with me to feel it. Sometimes, common sense & trying to do the right thing is hard to grasp. And I despise it. I get angry & bitter & "sungit" (tagalog for "moody"). I can say things...irreversible things...that I would regret, & it'd be too late. I hate it primarily due to the fact that sometimes, I can't control it. Emotions of anger & bitterness take over & the worst part: loved ones take notice. When I'm angry...I get really ANGRY. I don't want my ego & superego to be overtaken & eventually be diminished by the id.
I'm doing my best to control it. I'm trying hard to bite this tongue of mine that can talk alot of shit & has the potential to hurt others. Regrettably, I've already hurt a few because of it but luckily, many of them have come back & have forgiven me. I don't want want my id to do something I will regret again. As of late, I'm having a hard time trusting someone extremely close to me & I don't want to look at this person under a bad light, & vice versa. This should not happen under any circumstances.
Right now, I'm praying that God can help control this part of me & give me the strength to call my superego to the rescue when my id is on the rise, to control it, & to bring me back to common sense. So far, this is the hardest task & resolution that I've ever attempted.
Don't get it twisted. I'm still the same old me. I truly love my family & friends & I'm still generous, helpful, a listener, & a shoulder to cry on when someone needs me. I give off love & normally happiness. But in the words of the Incredible Hulk...don't make me angry...you wouldn't want to see me when I'm angry...& when that does happen...I NEED HELP.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
PQRST vs. αβδθ
Ok so it's been a week & I start off with such a strange blog post title? Let me explain. PQRST refers to the peaks of an EKG & αβδθ refers to the various peaks of alertness of an EEG. Basically, analysis of the heart (EKG) & the brain (EEG). Metaphorically speaking, the point of this blog is to analyze which is of more importance...logic or emotion?
The reason for me writing about this is due to specific events that have occured in my life this past week. Long story short: do I let my emotions take over? or am I an overly analytical person? After some thought, I've concluded that I'm dead center. With certain things, I tend to think way too much & may prevent myself from an opportunity or a great time. With other things, my heart takes the reigns & I feel myself taking things too seriously or fall for idiotic foolishness with total spontaneity, with the potential of making situations worse. Both have their disadvantages, but at the same time also have big positives.
Sometimes, just listening to your heart & doing things without over thinking the fear can bring huge success, as I've experienced. At the same time, it can also be a great advantage to use your brain, to not always be spontaneous, & to think things through, to prevent the worst from happening. The brain & the heart are an everlasting, unbreakable team. They are dynamic in what they do to the human soul & need each other. The brain THINKS while the heart FEELS.
The brain KNOWS things that the heart doesn't, while the heart FEELS things the brain doesn't. It's important to balance both & to be in peace with both. You can't live with just one or the other. It's like asking if water or air is more important. Impossible to answer.
Always cherish & take care of these sacred treasures you carry with you your entire life, & balance out the control, to have a satisfying & happy life.
"Hearts Oil Brain Fuel" by Fealasy
The reason for me writing about this is due to specific events that have occured in my life this past week. Long story short: do I let my emotions take over? or am I an overly analytical person? After some thought, I've concluded that I'm dead center. With certain things, I tend to think way too much & may prevent myself from an opportunity or a great time. With other things, my heart takes the reigns & I feel myself taking things too seriously or fall for idiotic foolishness with total spontaneity, with the potential of making situations worse. Both have their disadvantages, but at the same time also have big positives.
Sometimes, just listening to your heart & doing things without over thinking the fear can bring huge success, as I've experienced. At the same time, it can also be a great advantage to use your brain, to not always be spontaneous, & to think things through, to prevent the worst from happening. The brain & the heart are an everlasting, unbreakable team. They are dynamic in what they do to the human soul & need each other. The brain THINKS while the heart FEELS.
The brain KNOWS things that the heart doesn't, while the heart FEELS things the brain doesn't. It's important to balance both & to be in peace with both. You can't live with just one or the other. It's like asking if water or air is more important. Impossible to answer.
Always cherish & take care of these sacred treasures you carry with you your entire life, & balance out the control, to have a satisfying & happy life.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
EMERGENCY MEDICINE NEEDED STAT...Code Blue in Haiti
On January 12, an intense 7.0 magnitude earthquake shook Haiti, with it's epicenter in the country's capital, Port-au-Prince. Countless buildings have fallen...houses have been destroyed...roads have collapsed...& many hospitals have been obliterated. As many as 3 million people have been affected by this tragedy, & over 500,000 men, women, & children have been reported dead.
What I consider to be the worst & scariest news in this situation is that the places the people need most at this moment - the hospitals & medical centers - have been engulfed by the quake. I can't fathom & grasp the idea of not having the facility that provides healing, care, & overall protection for the severely injured & sick. Not having the healers (nurses, doctors, surgeons, etc) to run to gives everyone a loss of hope.
The Doctors Without Borders Donation Fund is working it's hardest to bring some light back to Haiti. By clicking on the picture above, you can donate some $$$ that will go straight into support for sending emergency medical care & medicine, which are now almost non-existent, to the people who have suffered through this. Anything helps. Please help if you can.
Lord, protect the people of Haiti. Through this extremely frightening event, many have lost their loved ones & have therefore lost hope. Strengthen the people & let them see that the world is at their side & working as hard as possible to provide aid & hope. Bring the light back into the people's eyes & help them rebuild their country & their hearts.
Thank you all.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Patience For Patients In Hospital Beds
One of the worst places to be forced confinement in is a hospital bed. Limited movement...limited space....limited privacy. Stuck in a small dark room with PICC IV lines & CVC IV lines pricked into your veins, where all around you, visions of medical equipment, an overhead table, a curtain, & a possible neighbor run wild in the cerebrum making one wonder when they will finally be discharged & be back in the comfort of their own home. No wonder most patients are anxious, nervous, grumpy, & even angry when encountered.
The main departments I rotate working around at CRMC (minus the lobby) are mainly ICU/PCU & Surgery. I truly love working on those floors. Meeting & becoming close to the staff & patients make my day. However, there are many days where I encounter patients that woke up on the wrong side of the bed & exhibit a grouchy, very angry sort of temperament, understandably of course. Most of the time, I bite my tongue & still give off a smile & assist them as much as I can. Other times, I feel like yelling back, but STILL I bite my tongue for the sake of professionalism & social etiquette. After taking moments to myself, I try to understand their moods. Afterall, they ARE confined in a very unpleasant place.
This past friday, I encountered a patient in surgery that really touched my heart. He was about late 40's-early 50's in age with alot of pain. He wreaked of alcohol & cigarettes & possibly urine. It was almost unbearable. His dx: severe cirrhosis with abdominal ascites. His only visitor: his younger brother. Usually, patients in this much pain are obviously not in the best of moods. However when I approached him, he had a painful smile on his face & asked me how I was doing. Upon asking him how he was coping, he looked at me & said "Not good at all...but hangin in there", still with a smile on his face. His brother (on crutches by the way) looked at me, crying, & expressed how much he loved his brother, that he would not leave his side for even a second, and that he needed help STAT.
It was obvious they were roughin' it & were not well off. Both had very ragged clothing, carried nothing but backpacks & said that they had no car & walked around the city alot. They have gone through so much together, yet still show love for one another & for a simple stranger (yours truly). It amazed me how much he made a terrible & life-threatening situation at a traumatizing place a positive one. That doesn't happen often.
It made me think...how can thousands of us who are well off be stressed out & bitch over the smallest things in life when some people who are off much much worse than us are more positive? How can thousands of us sometimes show no affection to our relatives when these two brothers going through hell show more love & support to each other than I've seen in a long time? As I conversated with him for a bit, I decided to take my leave & move on to the next patient. When I left, he shook my hand & said "God bless you...thank you for everything".
I see so many patients at the hospital. Most are grateful & give their "thank yous", which make me feel satisfied. Rarely do I encounter ones that truly touch my heart. Only a few have. This poor guy definitely did. Many who work with PATIENTS lose their PATIENCE & often end up judging them. I learned something after meeting this man: to have more patience & to show more love & kindness for people, as he did for me.
I left his hospital bed & proceeded to the next patient, with a heart full of happiness & love.
"Your Hospital Bed" by Emo Cuddly Bear
The main departments I rotate working around at CRMC (minus the lobby) are mainly ICU/PCU & Surgery. I truly love working on those floors. Meeting & becoming close to the staff & patients make my day. However, there are many days where I encounter patients that woke up on the wrong side of the bed & exhibit a grouchy, very angry sort of temperament, understandably of course. Most of the time, I bite my tongue & still give off a smile & assist them as much as I can. Other times, I feel like yelling back, but STILL I bite my tongue for the sake of professionalism & social etiquette. After taking moments to myself, I try to understand their moods. Afterall, they ARE confined in a very unpleasant place.
This past friday, I encountered a patient in surgery that really touched my heart. He was about late 40's-early 50's in age with alot of pain. He wreaked of alcohol & cigarettes & possibly urine. It was almost unbearable. His dx: severe cirrhosis with abdominal ascites. His only visitor: his younger brother. Usually, patients in this much pain are obviously not in the best of moods. However when I approached him, he had a painful smile on his face & asked me how I was doing. Upon asking him how he was coping, he looked at me & said "Not good at all...but hangin in there", still with a smile on his face. His brother (on crutches by the way) looked at me, crying, & expressed how much he loved his brother, that he would not leave his side for even a second, and that he needed help STAT.
It was obvious they were roughin' it & were not well off. Both had very ragged clothing, carried nothing but backpacks & said that they had no car & walked around the city alot. They have gone through so much together, yet still show love for one another & for a simple stranger (yours truly). It amazed me how much he made a terrible & life-threatening situation at a traumatizing place a positive one. That doesn't happen often.
It made me think...how can thousands of us who are well off be stressed out & bitch over the smallest things in life when some people who are off much much worse than us are more positive? How can thousands of us sometimes show no affection to our relatives when these two brothers going through hell show more love & support to each other than I've seen in a long time? As I conversated with him for a bit, I decided to take my leave & move on to the next patient. When I left, he shook my hand & said "God bless you...thank you for everything".
I see so many patients at the hospital. Most are grateful & give their "thank yous", which make me feel satisfied. Rarely do I encounter ones that truly touch my heart. Only a few have. This poor guy definitely did. Many who work with PATIENTS lose their PATIENCE & often end up judging them. I learned something after meeting this man: to have more patience & to show more love & kindness for people, as he did for me.
I left his hospital bed & proceeded to the next patient, with a heart full of happiness & love.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Detoxification
Detoxification is the process by which toxins are removed from an individual. To me, detox can come in 2 flavors: detox of the human body & detox of the human soul. It may sound like a very deep &/or absurd ideology, but it is that very ideology that I am forcing myself to undergo. One thing I can say I'm truly & sincerely proud of is the fact that I'm motivating & pushing myself to accomplish both "forms" of detox in order to become the person I ultimately dream of becoming.
The first flavor of detox is detox of the human body. Now there's not much in me that needs to be detoxed EXCEPT for food, which I am proud to say I've been on top of for the past year. I've cleansed my system of all the crappy toxins I used to indulge without shame by forcing myself to have daily or almost daily exercise consisting of both cardio & weights. I can't lie...I do have my occasional moments of food comas (e.g. this past holiday season lol), but in the end I still force the detox process in. As a result, I've lost & continue to lose weight (believe it or not), firmed up, & have a healthier internal system. Check #1.
The second flavor of detox is detox of the soul, which for me, is much more difficult to accomplish. Detox of the soul in my opinion is to rid oneself of their inner negativities, faults, flaws, imperfections. This is very difficult as I've had many. I tend to be very moody. I tend to feel emotions of envy or jealousy. I put myself down at times & can be very judgemental. Yes I admit it. I'm not perfect & I acknowledge that. But this is a process that will be the true test for me. This is one of my biggest resolutions not just for this new year, but for years to come. I want to rid myself of my "toxins" & inner "demons" that hold me back from being that ideal person I want to become & to be known for...not as the negative, judgemental, dramatic guy. This is definitely a work in progress. I pray that God helps me on this journey & to open my eyes to what I need to improve on & get rid of & to give me that strength I often times lack. Semi-check #2.
As a result, the detoxification process I'm undergoing is very insightful & beneficial medically, emotionally, mentally, & spiritually. I feel very proud to be such an advocate of detox & working my you know what off to achieve it & to finally be free from my toxins. It make take a while to achieve, but knowing that my determination is stronger than ever gives me the encouragement to fight on. "Toxins" in this sense defined as both a poisonous substance that can harm you anatomically (literally) & an inner imperfection negatively impacting aspects of your life that keep you at rock bottom(metaphorically).
What inner toxins are holding YOU back from fulfilling your goals?
The first flavor of detox is detox of the human body. Now there's not much in me that needs to be detoxed EXCEPT for food, which I am proud to say I've been on top of for the past year. I've cleansed my system of all the crappy toxins I used to indulge without shame by forcing myself to have daily or almost daily exercise consisting of both cardio & weights. I can't lie...I do have my occasional moments of food comas (e.g. this past holiday season lol), but in the end I still force the detox process in. As a result, I've lost & continue to lose weight (believe it or not), firmed up, & have a healthier internal system. Check #1.
The second flavor of detox is detox of the soul, which for me, is much more difficult to accomplish. Detox of the soul in my opinion is to rid oneself of their inner negativities, faults, flaws, imperfections. This is very difficult as I've had many. I tend to be very moody. I tend to feel emotions of envy or jealousy. I put myself down at times & can be very judgemental. Yes I admit it. I'm not perfect & I acknowledge that. But this is a process that will be the true test for me. This is one of my biggest resolutions not just for this new year, but for years to come. I want to rid myself of my "toxins" & inner "demons" that hold me back from being that ideal person I want to become & to be known for...not as the negative, judgemental, dramatic guy. This is definitely a work in progress. I pray that God helps me on this journey & to open my eyes to what I need to improve on & get rid of & to give me that strength I often times lack. Semi-check #2.
As a result, the detoxification process I'm undergoing is very insightful & beneficial medically, emotionally, mentally, & spiritually. I feel very proud to be such an advocate of detox & working my you know what off to achieve it & to finally be free from my toxins. It make take a while to achieve, but knowing that my determination is stronger than ever gives me the encouragement to fight on. "Toxins" in this sense defined as both a poisonous substance that can harm you anatomically (literally) & an inner imperfection negatively impacting aspects of your life that keep you at rock bottom(metaphorically).
What inner toxins are holding YOU back from fulfilling your goals?
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Kidney Conscious For Hippocrates & Nightingale
Ahh once again, that time has returned when my adrenal cortex just love to secrete in large amounts those lovely dosages of epinephrine, adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH), cortisol, & glucocorticoids to physiologically piss me the hell off. Actually, the ephinephrine is also released in the brain as a neurotransmitter, which causes this whole process to occur starting with the ACTH. But enough of that gibberish...in English: the stupid stress is back >__<
Yes that time has come. The financial difficulties, the search for a stable job, the registration for school & loans, the studying. All this crap is here once again. And all for what: that chance for me to be closer to Hippocrates & to take the Nightingale Pledge already. I realize that this is just all in good time...that I'm still young, I'm going at a good pace, all that jazz. But as of late, the thoughts have been rolling back of my future & the stability that I dream of having in order for a consequentially quiet & happy life as a set member in the field of medicine. CSNP is calling my name & damn it I'm so ready to just grab that scalpel & cut. As it was stated in "Grey's Anatomy", all surgeons love to do is cut, cut, cut. Cliche, yes. True, hell yes.
After testing myself with many medical school & nursing examination practice exams, and doing so well on them, I'm ready. Financial difficulties aside, I just want to be working in my scrubs in the hospital in my OR.
On a positive note...I've had some great heart & muscle healthy workouts lately. Woot woot. Now to just care for my kidneys. Go away stress...please.
Yes that time has come. The financial difficulties, the search for a stable job, the registration for school & loans, the studying. All this crap is here once again. And all for what: that chance for me to be closer to Hippocrates & to take the Nightingale Pledge already. I realize that this is just all in good time...that I'm still young, I'm going at a good pace, all that jazz. But as of late, the thoughts have been rolling back of my future & the stability that I dream of having in order for a consequentially quiet & happy life as a set member in the field of medicine. CSNP is calling my name & damn it I'm so ready to just grab that scalpel & cut. As it was stated in "Grey's Anatomy", all surgeons love to do is cut, cut, cut. Cliche, yes. True, hell yes.
After testing myself with many medical school & nursing examination practice exams, and doing so well on them, I'm ready. Financial difficulties aside, I just want to be working in my scrubs in the hospital in my OR.
On a positive note...I've had some great heart & muscle healthy workouts lately. Woot woot. Now to just care for my kidneys. Go away stress...please.
Monday, January 4, 2010
As The Saying Goes...Laughter Truly IS The Best Medicine...
One thing that I believe people often take for granted nowadays is the gift of laughter...that simple physiological reaction we express as a result of things that we consider humorous. Sure, everyone experiences it throughout their lifetime & it's pretty much as normal as breathing for some. For those people, it has grown to be an unnoticable, very regular reaction that is of little significance. Then why make such a fuss & an entire blog over laughter? Because my friends, for those that have felt out of touch with what pure laughter really feels like, it is like a huge sigh of relief or a burst of fresh air when that bond is reunited once again, & the need for pseudo-laughter is non-existent. In these tough times, it's understandable that our bond with laughter has grown to be very miniscule. Stress, pressure, worry, bullshit...all these are, unfortunately, what we go through all the time. Yet when we take the time to be with those that make us truly happy & we experience that first moment of pure laughter, all that crap temporarily disappears & you feel alive once more.
Now when I speak of "pseudo-laughter", I speak of the times where one has to force laughter out of them in situations that they don't honestly find funny, or in situations to satisfy who they are speaking with, to the point of it appearing fake & not feeling that legit, raw emotion of humor. Hence the "pseudo". We've all experienced that. It's not a good feeling. Who enjoys being fake? I don't. How insulting would that be if someone realizes that they're not, in any way, funny? Very insulting.
This weekend was the first in a long time where I had genuine fun & experienced something I haven't in a really really long time: pure laughter. I've been down with this terrible Rhinovirus for a week & now it's getting alot better, minus the annoying cough. I spent Saturday evening with my cousins & sister, spontaneously driving around the OC, looking for theaters to watch "Avater" in 3D where it was NOT sold out, then enjoying each others' company @ Downtown Disney & The Block. That time with them brought about old memories & stories that just made me laugh so hard that it brought tears to my eyes. It literally made my head hurt, & I loved it. I haven't felt that free from the stress, pressures, & annoyances that I often experience in the longest time. Those endorphins were definitely running amok in my brain. It was, as I said, a burst of fresh air that made me feel alive once again.
Despite my cold, I felt alot better after that day. An entire night just to me, my sister, & my cousins. And now, thank God, I'm feeling the best I've felt all week & in a long time, both physically & emotionally. Going to church & thanking God for this weekend & for my family & friends & being alive was the icing on the cake. So to you all that are going through rough & tough times, do the best that you can to set that aside for a bit & just be with those who make you LAUGH. Try to experience that once again. It'll be a rewarding, satisfying moment.
Laughter really is the best medicine everyone. It's something that, once re-experienced, takes away all the burdens, pain, & stresses & heals you from them. Laughter, along with the power of prayer & those moments with God, is the strongest medicine that can be prescribed & the strongest medicine that anyone can take...& it's healing power is nothing more than uplifting.
LIVE...LAUGH...LOVE.
Now when I speak of "pseudo-laughter", I speak of the times where one has to force laughter out of them in situations that they don't honestly find funny, or in situations to satisfy who they are speaking with, to the point of it appearing fake & not feeling that legit, raw emotion of humor. Hence the "pseudo". We've all experienced that. It's not a good feeling. Who enjoys being fake? I don't. How insulting would that be if someone realizes that they're not, in any way, funny? Very insulting.
This weekend was the first in a long time where I had genuine fun & experienced something I haven't in a really really long time: pure laughter. I've been down with this terrible Rhinovirus for a week & now it's getting alot better, minus the annoying cough. I spent Saturday evening with my cousins & sister, spontaneously driving around the OC, looking for theaters to watch "Avater" in 3D where it was NOT sold out, then enjoying each others' company @ Downtown Disney & The Block. That time with them brought about old memories & stories that just made me laugh so hard that it brought tears to my eyes. It literally made my head hurt, & I loved it. I haven't felt that free from the stress, pressures, & annoyances that I often experience in the longest time. Those endorphins were definitely running amok in my brain. It was, as I said, a burst of fresh air that made me feel alive once again.
Despite my cold, I felt alot better after that day. An entire night just to me, my sister, & my cousins. And now, thank God, I'm feeling the best I've felt all week & in a long time, both physically & emotionally. Going to church & thanking God for this weekend & for my family & friends & being alive was the icing on the cake. So to you all that are going through rough & tough times, do the best that you can to set that aside for a bit & just be with those who make you LAUGH. Try to experience that once again. It'll be a rewarding, satisfying moment.
Laughter really is the best medicine everyone. It's something that, once re-experienced, takes away all the burdens, pain, & stresses & heals you from them. Laughter, along with the power of prayer & those moments with God, is the strongest medicine that can be prescribed & the strongest medicine that anyone can take...& it's healing power is nothing more than uplifting.
LIVE...LAUGH...LOVE.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
On The Human Heart & It's Lubs-Dubs
The human heart. A mere fist shaped, 300 or so gram vital organ that sits smack dab in the middle of our mediastinum. Yes yes everyone knows that it is that pump that helps transport blood throughout our entire anatomical system. However, speaking in a more deeper & philosophical level, the heart has been popularly named the "seat of emotions", symbolizing love & happiness. It could feel the highest possible levels of happiness, joy, & love...& on the darker side, it could exhibit emotions of anger, hate, envy, & jealousy. Could it get to the point where the heart loves TOO much & cares TOO much, giving it a false hope & dooming it to heartbreak & pain, leaving the person filled with anger, insecurity, & jealousy? oh yes. Most definitely. For those that have experienced it, sometimes their loving heart gives them the most pain. And I'm not talking about heartburn.
I'm currently reading the novel "Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers" by Mary Roach. It's an amazing read exploring the world of the dead & how the use & experimentation on cadavers has revolutionized medicine & science. It's a bit morbid, but great. Thinking about death, I don't want to leave this earth being known as the person that loved TOO much or the guy that cared TOO much to the point of falling for false hope, ultimately resulting in pain & turning into this heartless, bitter person that lost hope. How can that happen to me? I've always been known as the "nice guy" or the "caring friend", the "sweet talker" or the so-called "romantic". Trust me, I love my heart for what it is & for what it has taught me (I AM concentrating in Cardiothoracic Surgery after all)...how to love, how to care, & how to be happy. But I wish it wasn't crushed so many times. It beats so much for so many, yet sometimes, it doesn't do what it should do: feel. Emotions of anger, bitterness, insecurity, & jealousy tend to take over & blind my heart of what it really & truly is. I don't want to leave my cadaver one day with an empty, bitter, angry, non-emotional rock in the mediastinum, metaphorically speaking. I want to leave this earth one day with a heart full of happiness & love & joy & the feeling of being whole & complete with people to love me just as much back. And of course, that special someone that loves ME for ME, & takes my heart for what it is.
Our hearts are truly a gift from God & are a living thing all on its own. I take care of my heart as much as possible, both medically & emotionally. It has gone through so much, yet it still beats.
They say the brain is more important than the heart...which is arguable. But what happens if the brain has no blood flow? Medically, it'll have an infarction, become necrotic & die, eventually swelling from the lack of oxygen & seep through the foramen magnum. And what of the heart without the brain? yes the vagus nerve has ceased to exist, but it still beats on. It's autorhythmicity & independence is miraculous. That's why I love medicine. That's why I love Cardiology. Take care of the heart. Live with the pain & heartache it will endure. It's an unbearable pain, but soon enough, hopefully, that pain will ease & the heart will experience true & complete love & happiness & feel whole.
The most beautiful sound in the world is a heartbeat. Those lub-dubs are the sounds of a miracle...life.
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart." ~ Hellen Keller
I'm currently reading the novel "Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers" by Mary Roach. It's an amazing read exploring the world of the dead & how the use & experimentation on cadavers has revolutionized medicine & science. It's a bit morbid, but great. Thinking about death, I don't want to leave this earth being known as the person that loved TOO much or the guy that cared TOO much to the point of falling for false hope, ultimately resulting in pain & turning into this heartless, bitter person that lost hope. How can that happen to me? I've always been known as the "nice guy" or the "caring friend", the "sweet talker" or the so-called "romantic". Trust me, I love my heart for what it is & for what it has taught me (I AM concentrating in Cardiothoracic Surgery after all)...how to love, how to care, & how to be happy. But I wish it wasn't crushed so many times. It beats so much for so many, yet sometimes, it doesn't do what it should do: feel. Emotions of anger, bitterness, insecurity, & jealousy tend to take over & blind my heart of what it really & truly is. I don't want to leave my cadaver one day with an empty, bitter, angry, non-emotional rock in the mediastinum, metaphorically speaking. I want to leave this earth one day with a heart full of happiness & love & joy & the feeling of being whole & complete with people to love me just as much back. And of course, that special someone that loves ME for ME, & takes my heart for what it is.
Our hearts are truly a gift from God & are a living thing all on its own. I take care of my heart as much as possible, both medically & emotionally. It has gone through so much, yet it still beats.
They say the brain is more important than the heart...which is arguable. But what happens if the brain has no blood flow? Medically, it'll have an infarction, become necrotic & die, eventually swelling from the lack of oxygen & seep through the foramen magnum. And what of the heart without the brain? yes the vagus nerve has ceased to exist, but it still beats on. It's autorhythmicity & independence is miraculous. That's why I love medicine. That's why I love Cardiology. Take care of the heart. Live with the pain & heartache it will endure. It's an unbearable pain, but soon enough, hopefully, that pain will ease & the heart will experience true & complete love & happiness & feel whole.
The most beautiful sound in the world is a heartbeat. Those lub-dubs are the sounds of a miracle...life.
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart." ~ Hellen Keller
Friday, January 1, 2010
Rx: Friendship
I know this may sound just the slightest bit corny & expected from the self-proclaimed medical geek, but having good friends in your life is definitely good medicine. Sorry some of it is in tagalog for those who don't speak/understand it. Here's the breakdown for understanding:
Amphetamine (Psychostimulant)..."Wag kang susuko" means "Don't give up"
Benzodiazepine (Anti-anxiety)..."Wag kang mag-alala" means "Don't worry"
Antipsychotic..."Wag kang sira" means "Don't breakdown"
TCA/MAOI/SSRI (Anti-depressant)..."Wag ka ng malungkot" means "Don't be sad"
Lithium Carbonate (Anti-mania)..."Hinay-hinay lang" means "Take it easy/slow"
Anti-Convulsant..."Relax ka lang" means "Just relax"
Anti-Biotic..."Ipaglalaban kita" means "I'll fight for you"
Analgesic (Painkiller)..."Ok lang yan, i'm here to relieve the pain"
Multivitamins..."Ingat ka palagi" means "Take care always"
Thank you to my friends for being my medications when I needed them. Viva, Mabuhay & Aloha.
Who Wants To Be A Surgeon? Anyone Up For Some Virtual Surgery?
I'm sure no one cares. Lol. BUT. In case someone out there (especially entering or are in the medical field) would like some generalized insight on different forms of surgery & actually PERFORM them...then go to these sites & be the surgeon yourself :) learn a few surgical procedures & the tools involved with them. Learn & enjoy @ the same time my friends.
For Deep Brain Stimulation, Virtual Hip Resurfacing, Virtual Hip Replacement, & Virtual Knee Surgery, visit:
http://edheads.org/
For Virtual Open Heart Surgery, visit:
http://www.abc.net.au/science/lcs/heart.htm
Learn something. Save lives in the OR. I prefer the Cardiothoracic Surgery :) Enjoy everyone. You know this medical geek did.
For Deep Brain Stimulation, Virtual Hip Resurfacing, Virtual Hip Replacement, & Virtual Knee Surgery, visit:
http://edheads.org/
For Virtual Open Heart Surgery, visit:
http://www.abc.net.au/science/lcs/heart.htm
Learn something. Save lives in the OR. I prefer the Cardiothoracic Surgery :) Enjoy everyone. You know this medical geek did.
I Might As Well Hook Myself Up To An IV...
So I'm still sick. Wth. I caught the damn rhinovirus Sunday & I was anticipating that it would be completely gone by today. All that hard work via the self-healing process still isn't 100% & I'm a tad worried...I might as well hook myself up to an IV...I need the antibiotics >__<
What a day. Definitely the kind that makes one look back & realize that they're really not as alone as they think. New Years has always been bittersweet to me. Bitter in the fact that another year has past, everyone is getting older & more stresses are put upon us, yet sweet in the realization that we're building our lives & moving forward with a fresh new beginning. Starting off by spending it with old friends gave me a flashback of our years together & made me excited for the future years that lie ahead for us. Then kicking off New Years Eve with family of course makes everything more meaningful. Seeing my relatives, laughing together, playing together, free from our usual daily stresses...what more could I ask for?
This year I'm anticipating more excitement & positives to occur not only in my life but in the lives of everyone & the world as well. With the slight change in my physique & all, I feel more confident in myself & I'm praying for more blessings :)
Now let's hope this cursed cold of mine dismisses itself from my body ASAP & I won't need to hear the drips of an IV. Fight on leukocytes...fight on.
"Hospitalized IV" by ~liltledolphin
What a day. Definitely the kind that makes one look back & realize that they're really not as alone as they think. New Years has always been bittersweet to me. Bitter in the fact that another year has past, everyone is getting older & more stresses are put upon us, yet sweet in the realization that we're building our lives & moving forward with a fresh new beginning. Starting off by spending it with old friends gave me a flashback of our years together & made me excited for the future years that lie ahead for us. Then kicking off New Years Eve with family of course makes everything more meaningful. Seeing my relatives, laughing together, playing together, free from our usual daily stresses...what more could I ask for?
This year I'm anticipating more excitement & positives to occur not only in my life but in the lives of everyone & the world as well. With the slight change in my physique & all, I feel more confident in myself & I'm praying for more blessings :)
Now let's hope this cursed cold of mine dismisses itself from my body ASAP & I won't need to hear the drips of an IV. Fight on leukocytes...fight on.
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